- You will not let me thread you.
- If you do let me thread you, you will break said thread as I push up the needle.
- If the thread does not break, you will disgorge your bobbin.
- Should I be so fortunate as to get a piece of cloth into you, you will blow a fuse.
- Having replaced the fuse, you will stitch beautifully for one half of a garment and then your thread will run out.
- You will sulk ferociously while I rewind thread onto your no-longer extractable bobbin.
- You will make me go through this whole process again.
- And again.
- You are not my sewing machine. I cannot, therefore, take a hammer to you.
Tuesday 10 January 2012
Sewing machine ... how do I hate thee?
Let me count the ways.
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Cannot a rogue sewing machine hating bandit enter your home whilst you are away and take said hammer to the infernal machine thereby punishing it soundly and with much relish, but leaving you innocent?
ReplyDeleteYou have my sympathy. There are usually many questions asked by me when I sew. Questions that sound like, "what the blazes are you doing, machine?" or, "now what ass hattery have you wrought? This is NOT what the pattern instructions said to do." (pattern instructions are from another level of hell all together).