I have terrible co-ordination. Ask me to follow a set of moves or try to dance and hilarity will result. Sometimes pain will result too - occasionally not for me.
Case in point. Twelfth Night is back in the rehearsal swing after the holidays. Last night the light of attention was shone on the first four scenes. One of these consists of Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Maria lowering the tone - which up to this point in the play has been lyrical and rather wistful.
Our director has decided that Maria should slap Sir Andrew for making crude honking noises and gestures at her. We did this a couple of times and it was fine (a slap often isn't that painful if you know it's coming). Then I realised I'd be in flat shoes and took my boots off. Disaster. I completely mistimed it and sent Sir Andrew's glasses flying across the room. I hadn't taken account of the new height difference.
There isn't really an excuse, so I'm just feeling guilty.
My record is poor in this regard. University productions were littered with people I'd accidentally walked into. In one memorable case, I managed to fell two hapless guards with blows to the groin while attempting to shrug them off. I was playing Antigone and walking out through the audience. A merry directorial voice shouted, "Just push them off you." So I did and the entire cast collapsed laughing apart from two agonised "oofs" behind me. Lucky it was the dress rehearsal.
Anyway - apologies to Sir Andrew. I shall rehearse in low shoes from now on.
In all other respects, Maria is huge fun to play.