Friday, 2 December 2011

Rehearsals on the brink

Today was not good for the nativity crew.

The plan - and one has to have them - was to run the whole thing and then sort out anything outstandingly dire.  This was their last run before they arrive at the village hall on Monday morning.  It was all dire, so staggering through was the best we managed.

There were multiple interruptions, some of them weather-related, but most of them to do with it being Friday at then end of a long week.  Attention spans were not so much short as non-existent. 

One of the angels still knows none of her lines, but is capable of quoting anyone else's and does so at the drop of a hat.  I can sympathise (it's so much easier to learn other people's lines), but irritating.  The competent shepherd was on holiday, leaving his less talented team-mates floundering.  One bodyguard went on strike and the other had to go to the dentist.

Tiddles the cat fell over in the playground, hurt her back and spend the rest of the afternoon sitting on an icepack.  I still don't know if we have a Joseph or not.  The child playing Mary has gamely learned his lines as well and will say them if necessary.  The Wise Men were so engrossed in being cool and funny that they forgot where the audience was and spent their whole scene looking in the wrong direction.

The songs ... oh, dear.  An awful lot of hopeful faces looking at the five who reliably knew the words.  Bad luck then, when all five were on stage and unable to sing.  Also a good deal of squirming around to see what the person behind them was doing, poking each other and wailing that so-and-so was supposed to sing that bit and why weren't they.  Floods of tears from so-and-so.

To cap it all, the weather started turning nasty and a couple of mums turned up to remove their offspring.  They live in very far flung spots and faced the real prospect of not being able to get home.  At this point I was wishing I hadn't been able to leave home.  The minor positive was that everyone knew when things had gone wrong, just not when it was them.

All will be well on Monday.  To be honest, I have seen worse.  But not very often.


  1. They are Coarse Actors already.

  2. I remember rehearsals like that for my dance performances - they usually lead to the best actual performances - don't worry
    (and in case of doom - everyone loves a comedy nativity! - this from the now grown up Mary who managed to show her pants all the way through - I'll never be allowed to forget it!)

  3. That's a great story :)

    Speaking as a permanent shepherd, I always spent most nativity plays longing for Mary to fall off the stage. She never did.