Monday, 12 December 2011

"Dude, I'm a heavily scarred catman ..."

Son arrived in my office late last night.

"I've just spent the last three hours killing an icewraith to prove my manhood."

"Oh, OK.  Did it work?"

"Getting there killed me three times.  Some pretty tough bandits and a girl wearing furry anklets who survived me walloping her with duel longswords for 20 seconds.  Oh, and a dragon fell on my head.  Icewraith - looked at him and he dropped dead. "

"So you proved your manhood."

"What sort of test is that?  I mean, look at me.  I rock up to the Nord outpost and they take one look and say I don't have the balls to be one of them.  There's no option to say, "Dude, I'm a heavily scarred catman who used to be a werewolf.  I'm wearing the third best armour in the game and the insignia of the Companions and the Dark Brotherhood.  I've killed dragons, wiped out small villages, assassinated emperors, and the only way to prove myself to you is to take out an icewraith?"."

"Bet you weren't wearing furry anklets."

"No.  I was wearing kickass armour."

"Go get some furry anklets.  It's the rule.  The colder the place, the fewer the clothes."

"It's Tough Guide, isn't it?"


"You know what mum?  You're right."

For those not aware of this wonderful book, by the late and hugely lamented Diana Wynne Jones, may I warmly recommend.  May I also say this is one of the few times son has admitted I'm right in recent months.

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